It’s about 3 months until I turn 30, that milestone age that we liken to the other milestone ages of 25, 21 and 18, and admittedly I don’t feel great about it. I thought that by going through those milestone ages I wouldn’t care about this one. But here I am at 29 – this awkward age of not-quite-30, but may-as-well-be-30 which is weird and ugly. Here’s why:
1. It’s officially the end of your 20s.
Ahhh, the sweetness of your 20s – youth, frivolity, invincibility and minimal responsibilities. Man how I wish I could go back to those years and take things less seriously and just go with the flow! But at 29, that’s all pretty much gone, you’re just holding on to this final year, where you could get away with still being in your 20s, but not really, because you’re at the end of your 20s’ now. Ugggghhh.
2. The urgency to jam pack this final year.
This last year of your 20s somehow has an endless to-do list that has piled on even more (not that it wasn’t already full), because there’s this sense of doom to get shit done. Finances in check? Got a house yet? Travelled 100 countries? Have a life partner? Have kids yet? Career looking good? Hitting the gym 10 times a week? What other 500 things are missing from this list?
3. Living with your parents is frowned on.
Yep, I’m still here living with my parents. And right there as I finished that sentence I can hear cries of “Wow, are you serious?” to “What’s wrong?” or “Did something happen?” to just plain cold, icy, judgement. In your 20s, you can get away with it, blame it on #unilife, #studentlife, plus everyone at that point is in the same boat – working casual hours, studying, travelling. It’s all excusable. But at 29 (and god forbid 30!), what’s the excuse then?
4. You’re meant to be an adult already (or as of 5 years ago).
Mum ain’t doing your laundry, she ain’t taking out your garbage. She’s not going to tell you when your bill is due, or do your groceries. She’ll still love you, but not like that. Nope, at 29 you can’t not be an adult. That’s all on you. Funnily you could probably get away with it at 27 or 28, but at 29, somehow it’s like this weird cut off point of, ok, this is no longer acceptable. The pressure to actually have your shit together is real.
5. The constant denial.
This is the feeling that probably best describes being 29. You don’t want to believe that 29 is where you are right now. I mean, what happened to the rest of my 20s? Acceptance is hard, but at this point it is the only option. The more you try to push it away, the more it dawns on you. It being closer to 30 than any other of the other 20-something ages doesn’t help either.
6. The 30 thing.
As above from Point 5, it’s the thirty thing that really onsets all the weirdness and ugliness of this age in the first place. The big 3-0 is a new decade which your 20s were supposed to prepare you for. You’d think by 29 this would be all good, and the transition to thirty would be smoother, until you realise you’re not quite there yet. All your friends have turned thirty and brush it off like it’s all good, while deep down inside you’re low-key freaking out.
7. Your other friends seem to have the perfect life at 29 (or 30).
Checked your Facebook or Instagram feed lately? Any bet your peers are either engaged, married, pregnant, or up to kid number 3. For some reason that memo didn’t get to me? Their photos are perfect, with the kind of wind-swept candidness that their life is breezy, all smiles and without drama. Then you see your 29-something life and think, “Woah, my life does not look like that”, then resort to bingeing on Netflix to make it all go away.
8. Your time just runs away.
Do you remember how in your 20s you could put adult things off and come back to it later so nonchalantly? Like insurance, a house, a great career, travel, your finances – all of that grown up stuff that didn’t matter then. Well, now at 29 it kinda does matter, and time to do all of that, and more is everything. For some reason time just accelerates, when before it ran at a snail’s pace. Don’t even get me started on the whole biological clock if you’re female. Any bet freezing your eggs or having a sperm donor has crossed your mind.
9. Your health suddenly matters more.
We all know how important our health is, but with increased age health is no longer optional. Sure, early on it was ok to do a Maccas run just because, not exercise or avoid the doctor, but now without watching your health, you become more prone to issues that you didn’t know about. So make sure to take care of yourself, we’re not as invincible as we used to be.
10. Everyone asks what your next move is.
Family, friends and everyone who seems to know you is asking you what’s next. And if you don’t have a straight answer, there’s a (silent) disappointed shake of the head. Honestly, sometimes I struggle with day-to-day decisions, let alone my next life move. Come on! The worst part is the comparison – when they start talking about how things were for them at 29, or how they know someone who achieved a million things at 29. They try to put a positive spin on it, “You’ll be fine”, “You’ll figure it out”, “You’ve got time”. Empathy much? Or pity?
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